"I hate making excuses. If I suck, then I suck. And I suck. That's the way I'm playing. If you suck, you suck. You have to take responsibility in this game. Right now, that's the way I feel. Yes, I suck. I'm embarrassed by the money that I making, and playing the way I've been playing. I'll swear that on my kids' (lives). I feel very embarrassed. Sometimes, I feel I should take money out of my own pocket and buy tickets for every fan. Because you know what? For a $12 million man, these are not the numbers you should be expecting. I admit it. I'm not playing to my potential."

-- Jose Guillen, taking all the fun out of ripping him. I mean really, how are any of us going to top that?