Reds' outfielder Chris Dickerson had a bandage over his eye before the Reds-Pirates game on Saturday. Ball take a bad hop? Nope. Fight? Nope. How about assault with an intent to open:
Dickerson got clocked in the head by a revolving glass door this morning at his hotel. He was sporting a bandage above his right eye.
Strange, yes, but nowhere near as strange as some other non-baseball injuries to ballplayers over the years:
Adam Eaton accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach with a knife while trying to unwrap a DVD in 2001. He has stabbed his own teammates in the back on a repeated basis ever since, including yesterday.
Larry Andersen strained a rib muscle getting out of a Jacuzzi, which just goes to show you that you shouldn't ever get out of the Jacuzzi.
Ricky Bones injured his lower back trying to get out of a chair while watching TV in the clubhouse, which just goes to show you that you shouldn't ever get out of your chair while watching TV.
Sammy Sosa went into back spasms after sneezing too hard. Goose Gossage did this too, but he did it the old fashioned way without any chemical assistance.
Ricky Henderson missed several games once due to frostbite. In August. Rickey proclaimed it the greatest frostbite injury the world had ever seen.
Glenallen Hill once fell out of bed and onto a glass table after dreaming that he was covered in spiders. And here I thought Dock Ellis was the only one into that sort of thing.
Former Giants and Padres infielder Chris Brown claimed at various times to have he slept on his eye wrong and to have had a "bruised tooth," with each keeping him from playing. My daughter is five years-old and comes up with better ones than these.
And before you say anything, I did not include the one you're thinking of because John Smoltz has debunked it.
In any event, Chris Dickerson, until you master the nuances of your building's revolving door, you have everyone's permission to use the handicapped entrance. Wait, strike that -- too narrow. Try the loading dock.